Why Sometimes We Can’t “Just Get Over It”

“I really thought I was over it. I mean, it’s been six months already — so why am I still so angry?”

This was how our conversation started last week.

My client had been laid off from her job of 15 years. A job she loved — a career she’d gotten used to. A routine, a momentum, a lifestyle — and a family of coworkers. And, most importantly, a sense of purpose.

And then suddenly it was gone — all of it. And she was left to sort it out for herself.

Life is filled with happiness and feelings of success. Life is also filled with frustration and times of disappointment. Some days we’re feeling on top of the world; other days we’re far from it.

Although it’s natural to feel a greater sense of balance in our lives when things are going smoothly, the gap between our level of comfort and well-being feels even wider when times are tough.

Why? Because often we don’t recognize our disappointment as grief — and that’s why we get stuck.

Disappointment is a feeling, but grief is a process — one that typically includes many layers of emotions such as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

And it’s important to grieve. Long-term grief can block feelings of joy and happiness and may result in feelings…