Go Ahead and Be Selfish. But in a Good Way.

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg
4 min readJul 2, 2019

There’s a negative misconception that focusing on oneself is selfish.

But being selfish is not only good-it’s essential.

For the record, the suffix “ish” means “ belonging to.” The word “selfish” literally means “belonging to self”; there is no negative connotation as we’ve created in our western culture.

The same misconception applies to the words “self-centered” (meaning “centered in self”); these terms aren’t originally negative in meaning, only in the meanings we’ve applied to them.

Belonging to or being centered in oneself indicates internal alignment. And isn’t alignment what we’re seeking so that we can have better balance and clarity in our lives?

It’s time to update our vernacular.

Semantics aside, caring for oneself cannot be underestimated-especially in our present age, when paying healthy attention to taking care of ourselves is a constant challenge. With the overwhelming amount of information barraging us on a daily basis, distractions take us farther and farther away from our true inner guidance-the core of our human being.

So why are we getting so far away from our inner guidance? Because we’re more focused on our human doing than on our human being.

Our inability to stay focused on ourselves in healthy and balanced ways is taking its toll. And our self-esteem and self-worth are paying the price for our short attention spans.

It’s time to be selfish. In a good way.

You might say, “But I don’t have time to focus on myself. I have others in my life who need my support (spouse, kids, parents, employers….”) and so on. And while that is true, if we’re not healthy and happy with ourselves, we’re no good to anyone else.

Our sense of well-being ripples out. Taking care of our health and well-being begins with us.

Stuck? Here are 7 tips for maintaining a healthy balance while keeping yourself in mind:

Connect with your deepest intentions. Intentions are more than goals; they manifest our deeper desires that come from our inner truth and core beliefs. When we take time to align ourselves with our core intentions, we change our attitudes…

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg

Transformation Coach| Author | Relentless Optimist | HuffPost, Medium, Thrive Global Blogger. Find clarity & balance on your career path. http://bit.ly/2qV87pg